Reply to 35 divorced mom...who do I date?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]43 yr old divorced with 2 kids.  I don't date.  I don't have the time, energy, or desire to put the effort into finding someone and having a relationship.  I put my relationship efforts into my kids.

That's not to say, I don't have a life---I take classes, have dinner with friends, entertain at home, volunteer at the sr. center.  I enjoy my life but it just doesn't have room in it at the moment for someone else.

Especially a divorced dad with kids--who would be my target population.  I have no desire to deal with their ex wife and kids and I have no desire for them to deal with my ex and my kids.

When the kids are out of the house, I'll consider dating.[/quote]

I agree. [/quote]

I encourage both of you to reconsider. My mother was 45 when my parents split up and she had so many redeeming qualities at that time. Instead, she festered in her rage, dealt with cancer, lost confidence bc of her treatments, and felt she was never lovable again. 30 yrs later, I wish for her sake that she had made very different choices. She is so lonely, despite having regular interactions w her kids and grandkids. [/quote]

22:53.  I tried dating which is how I know I don't have time for it.  I had men tell me that they wanted more-- for me to be available on the weekends, to talk at night, and see them once or twice during the week.  I get that that's what makes a relationship.  I give that time to my kids.  But I also know that I don't want another parent figure for my kids and I don't want to be a parent figure to someone else's children.  I'm just not willing to open that door.

The only way for me to meet someone would be in the natural course of life.  As I said, I take classes and volunteer.  If I were to meet someone in class that I would naturally see weekly, then perhaps.  If I see someone's son at the sr center each week, maybe.  But I would have to get to know them pretty darn well over the course of a long time before I would even consider introducing them to my kids.  And they would have to understand that we would not live together until all the kids were out of the house.

Did you read the post about Tinder--- I'm not dealing with that stuff.[/quote]

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