Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would date a 35 yr old divorced mother of 2 if -- she was emotionally stable, she had built healthy boundaries with her X, she had a BMI <25, she didn't make me treat her like a helpless princess, she was open minded about my politics & life choices, and she still knew how to enjoy life! Don't give up!

I make $175K, own the house, can run the household, have very clear boundaries with the ex, and I'm willing to discuss politics. I have no idea what you mean by life choices. My BMI is under 25 but I don't want to date someone that cares about something like that.

+1

You sound like you are willing to go without a physical relationship . Not everyone can endure that

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:43 yr old divorced with 2 kids. I don't date. I don't have the time, energy, or desire to put the effort into finding someone and having a relationship. I put my relationship efforts into my kids.

That's not to say, I don't have a life---I take classes, have dinner with friends, entertain at home, volunteer at the sr. center. I enjoy my life but it just doesn't have room in it at the moment for someone else.

Especially a divorced dad with kids--who would be my target population. I have no desire to deal with their ex wife and kids and I have no desire for them to deal with my ex and my kids.

When the kids are out of the house, I'll consider dating.

I agree.

I encourage both of you to reconsider. My mother was 45 when my parents split up and she had so many redeeming qualities at that time. Instead, she festered in her rage, dealt with cancer, lost confidence bc of her treatments, and felt she was never lovable again. 30 yrs later, I wish for her sake that she had made very different choices. She is so lonely, despite having regular interactions w her kids and grandkids.

22:53. I tried dating which is how I know I don't have time for it. I had men tell me that they wanted more-- for me to be available on the weekends, to talk at night, and see them once or twice during the week. I get that that's what makes a relationship. I give that time to my kids. But I also know that I don't want another parent figure for my kids and I don't want to be a parent figure to someone else's children. I'm just not willing to open that door.

The only way for me to meet someone would be in the natural course of life. As I said, I take classes and volunteer. If I were to meet someone in class that I would naturally see weekly, then perhaps. If I see someone's son at the sr center each week, maybe. But I would have to get to know them pretty darn well over the course of a long time before I would even consider introducing them to my kids. And they would have to understand that we would not live together until all the kids were out of the house.

Did you read the post about Tinder--- I'm not dealing with that stuff.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would date a 35 yr old divorced mother of 2 if -- she was emotionally stable, she had built healthy boundaries with her X, she had a BMI <25, she didn't make me treat her like a helpless princess, she was open minded about my politics & life choices, and she still knew how to enjoy life! Don't give up!

I make $175K, own the house, can run the household, have very clear boundaries with the ex, and I'm willing to discuss politics. I have no idea what you mean by life choices. My BMI is under 25 but I don't want to date someone that cares about something like that.

Yes, but you are missing the emotionally stable quality. Damn society and all men with opinions/preferences! Let me guess, you had "irreconcilable differences" with DH #1? He probably wouldn't follow your orders...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would date a 35 yr old divorced mother of 2 if -- she was emotionally stable, she had built healthy boundaries with her X, she had a BMI <25, she didn't make me treat her like a helpless princess, she was open minded about my politics & life choices, and she still knew how to enjoy life! Don't give up!

I make $175K, own the house, can run the household, have very clear boundaries with the ex, and I'm willing to discuss politics. I have no idea what you mean by life choices. My BMI is under 25 but I don't want to date someone that cares about something like that.

You just need to date for fun when you don't have custody. Have fun and don't take it too seriously. In a year you will know whether you want to pursue a long term relationship . If your time is limited then a FWB might work for awhile.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:43 yr old divorced with 2 kids. I don't date. I don't have the time, energy, or desire to put the effort into finding someone and having a relationship. I put my relationship efforts into my kids.

That's not to say, I don't have a life---I take classes, have dinner with friends, entertain at home, volunteer at the sr. center. I enjoy my life but it just doesn't have room in it at the moment for someone else.

Especially a divorced dad with kids--who would be my target population. I have no desire to deal with their ex wife and kids and I have no desire for them to deal with my ex and my kids.

When the kids are out of the house, I'll consider dating.

I agree.

I encourage both of you to reconsider. My mother was 45 when my parents split up and she had so many redeeming qualities at that time. Instead, she festered in her rage, dealt with cancer, lost confidence bc of her treatments, and felt she was never lovable again. 30 yrs later, I wish for her sake that she had made very different choices. She is so lonely, despite having regular interactions w her kids and grandkids.

Anonymous wrote:I would date a 35 yr old divorced mother of 2 if -- she was emotionally stable, she had built healthy boundaries with her X, she had a BMI <25, she didn't make me treat her like a helpless princess, she was open minded about my politics & life choices, and she still knew how to enjoy life! Don't give up!

I make $175K, own the house, can run the household, have very clear boundaries with the ex, and I'm willing to discuss politics. I have no idea what you mean by life choices. My BMI is under 25 but I don't want to date someone that cares about something like that.

I would date a 35 yr old divorced mother of 2 if -- she was emotionally stable, she had built healthy boundaries with her X, she had a BMI <25, she didn't make me treat her like a helpless princess, she was open minded about my politics & life choices, and she still knew how to enjoy life! Don't give up!

Anonymous wrote:43 yr old divorced with 2 kids. I don't date. I don't have the time, energy, or desire to put the effort into finding someone and having a relationship. I put my relationship efforts into my kids.

That's not to say, I don't have a life---I take classes, have dinner with friends, entertain at home, volunteer at the sr. center. I enjoy my life but it just doesn't have room in it at the moment for someone else.

Especially a divorced dad with kids--who would be my target population. I have no desire to deal with their ex wife and kids and I have no desire for them to deal with my ex and my kids.

When the kids are out of the house, I'll consider dating.

I agree.

43 yr old divorced with 2 kids. I don't date. I don't have the time, energy, or desire to put the effort into finding someone and having a relationship. I put my relationship efforts into my kids.

That's not to say, I don't have a life---I take classes, have dinner with friends, entertain at home, volunteer at the sr. center. I enjoy my life but it just doesn't have room in it at the moment for someone else.

Especially a divorced dad with kids--who would be my target population. I have no desire to deal with their ex wife and kids and I have no desire for them to deal with my ex and my kids.

When the kids are out of the house, I'll consider dating.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Other divorced dads.
- was in your shoes, now very happily remarried

(Meant to add: online dating is a must ...). Hugs & good luck.

Same poster yet again: if j were you, I'd take a moment to work on yourself before going out there. Get to the gym, make sure your career is in good working order....etc. I had really gotten my act together on a number of fronts by the time I met my husband, and I think it's no coincidence that improving and liking myself coincided with meeting him...

Anonymous wrote:Other divorced dads.
- was in your shoes, now very happily remarried

(Meant to add: online dating is a must ...). Hugs & good luck.

Are you financially independent?

Other divorced dads.
- was in your shoes, now very happily remarried

I'm newly back to the dating scene. What types of men are interested in dating a divorced mom of 2? I never thought I would be single again at this point in life...motherhood has a way of taking the air out of your sails in the dating arena and the thought is nothing short of terrifying