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[quote=Anonymous]I don't know what to do about my relationship with my father. I'm at a loss for how to move forward. I would probably just tolerate things the way they are if I weren't a mother. But I struggle with letting my son be around his grandfather, who I feel has some serious cruelty issues. My ex-husband is out of the picture. And even though I'm dating someone amazing, my father is really the main male figure in my son's life right now (at least until I get more comfortable with the new guy being around more often...so far, so good).

To put it bluntly, my father is a bit of an asshole. He's successful, charismatic and handsome, extremely intelligent and basically has a great life. I learned a lot from him. So in those respects, he's a good role model. Many things are very easy for him...but being kind and empathetic is not one of them. He has a tendency to turn on those closest to him, talk down to them, yell and say terrible things, point out their weaknesses, make accusations, etc. A small disagreement can quickly unravel into an all-out shouting match with him.

For years, I was resigned to these things. I genuinely love him as any daughter would love her father. But now that I have a little boy to think about, I find myself hesitating when Dad invites us places or asks to get together. There have been a couple of these blowups in front of my son and they upset him a lot. But he still loves his grandfather and asks about him all the time.

This is breaking my heart. My father is verbally abusive and I would never want my boy to learn these behaviors or think it's okay. But I also don't want to cut my dad out completely. It would be painful for all of us. Advice, anyone? [/quote]

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