Reply to How did you work towards having a good co-parenting relationship with your ex?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a second wife whose husband could not be more distanced from his ex, I say "be cool and not controlling". His ex has tried so hard over the years to tell him what he "needs to do" and "do such and such right now" and "do not do such and such again" so much demanding and controlling stuff that it's ridiculous.

People need to realize they can't control the other person or what they do on their time or as a parent once they get divorced. Unclench, be cool, and I think the relationship will follow. [/quote]

^I have a great relationship with ex-husband, and I do think this is part of it. I always try to be understanding and accommodating. I don't criticize him. Even though I secretly find him slightly irresponsible. If he asks for schedule changes, I agree for the most part. If he forgets her lunch or something, I just leave extra money in her account at school. I always make sure she calls him everyday, just to say hi and check in since she's with me more often. From seeing my friends co-parenting relationships, the biggest common denominator I see in poor ones is that one of them is very high conflict and controlling.[/quote]

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