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[quote=doodlebug][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am not sure if this is a good or bad thing, but I tend to get mad after the fact about things that happen.  For instance, about a week ago, my husband initiated a sitdown between my asshole in laws and I. We have been butting heads big time over my husband being a mama's boy and my in laws trying to undermine our marriage. At the sitdown, I ended up apologizing to my in laws even though they are the ones who were badmouthing me all over town.  Well, I left the encounter not feeling resolved, but at least happy that DH and his parents were clearly happy.  In the days that have elapsed, however, I have gotten madder and madder at how those three fools sat looking self satisfied and smug as I apologized to keep the peace. Now, I want to strangle DH.

Does anyone else have delayed reactions like these?  It is as if my outrage meter needs time to warm up.[/quote]

No, and that doesn't sound normal or healthy. Are you getting counseling?[/quote] Every single PP before you, and now me, can relate to the OP and you come here to say it's not normal or healthy? Really? First of all, it may or may not be healthy. No one asked about that. But clearly, it's normal and you're the odd man out. Are you getting therapy for that? Every person processes information differently. That's not right or wrong, healthy or unhealthy. It just is. It's an introvert/extrovert thing. OP, it's perfectly acceptable to ask for a list of things they want to discuss and to make them stay on topic. This will give you an idea of what you're going to be ambushed with and if they deviate from the list tell them to schedule another time to discuss that. Alternatively, you can come to the table with a list. At least that way you won't be flustered and feel like you didn't get a chance to bring up the things you want to talk about. Just be clear and honest if you need to take more time to think on something, or request all correspondence be via email if that's better for you. And you can certainly email all of them now with your current thoughts and say "now that I have had time to think about it, I really don't think I'm to blame for X" or whatever works for you. Mostly, though, you need to get your husband on board. Do it now before you have kids so if you realize this isn't going to change or work for you long term, you can get out before it's messy and complicated with kids in the mix.[/quote]

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