Reply to What mattered with your kids in the long run?

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[quote=Anonymous]For us it was consistancy and having a parent at home to make life easier- not at first but after we found out a sliver of what we were up against and what it would take to raise them.  Both our children have special needs that required quite a bit of intense parenting for a much longer stretch of time than the neurotypical child. Many therapy appointments and the need for structured time at home pushed us to that decision. Reducing stress and increasing time both parents spent with the family helped.  Putting their needs ahead of our wants and wishes is part of being a parent.  DH took the "daddy" track and I quit to be home full time.  Smaller house, smaller expenses made it work.  What made that work was that we started out saving one take home paycheck and 10% of the other's from the time our our engagement. (I moved in with DH within 3 weeks from that).  That gave us the nest egg we needed as well as the practice of living on a smaller income to be able to make the decisions we made later.

Jury is still out if we have been successful, but so far so good and much better than we first thought 10+ years ago.  1st child had a successful first year of college and second child is having a successful HS experience and will be applying to schools in the fall. We won't really know until both are completely out of school and living successfully independently- still quite a bit can happen in those 17-25 age years- at least for their issues.

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