Reply to "You don't love me..."

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Reply to ""You don't love me...""

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[quote=Anonymous]I think this can come up in a number of different ways and I think the response varies based on what's going on.

Some kids like to see if they are pushing your buttons. Picture children as scientists about the world and interested in what happens if... If this is what is going on, you want to model not overreacting, not getting mad or hurt, but being loving, firm and calm. "I love you very much and I want to take great care of you, which includes..."

Some kids--okay all kids--like to procrastinate at bedtime. They ask complicated questions. They want one more this or one more that. However you handle footdragging at bedtime is the right response here.

Some kids experience genuine pangs. Bedtime is a time of day when little busy bodies start calming down and as their minds begin to drift they raise big questions. Note: these usually don't come up when the lights are on or you're engaged in the going-to-bed process but more at the end of the process, once their bodies are quieter. If this is the story, I treat these questions as very real. "I love you very much. What is worrying you?"

Some kids aren't really clear on what love is. I don't think it's a bad thing to use some different things that happen in stories or movies that you're watching to talk about love. Do you think she's being a good friend? Do you think that child feel loved right now? You want kids to learn to know the difference between people who may show love differently and/or may not be actually showing love. [/quote]

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