Reply to Holy s***, I'm married to a covert narcissist

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My overt narcissist DH came home from individual therapy to declare his therapist diagnosed me as a narcissist. She's never met me.

Tricky bunch. They shower on the love and build up the craziness over years. I'm hanging onto this marriage by a thread. I'd leave but I can't imagine a world of 50/50 custody with his mental illness.

Back to OP, yes, there was one day I just woke up and realized he was abusive. Everything made so much more sense. The gas lighting is the worst part. I kept trying to understand why he was so forgetful.[/quote]

I can relate to this in a lot of ways. While not a narcissist, my husband has some major emotional breaks due to abuse as a child. He simply cannot connect the dots re: how his behavior affects others.  For example, he'll insist on handling the bills, then forget to pay the real estate taxes, and when I get angry because we were charged over a grand in fines, he'll think I have no right to be angry about it. I used to think he was being deliberately obtuse until it was pointed out to me that he simply can't connect A (his forgetting to pay the bill) to B (my getting upset over it).

Or he'll correct my phrasing of a word or use of a word, interrupting my thought, not really understanding that it conveys the message "I don't care what you are saying".

It's maddening.[/quote]

Oh, this sounds familiar.  Both of those scenarios!  In what way does his childhood abuse cause emotional breaks that manifest themselves like that?  [/quote]

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