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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Most marriage counselors won't work with a couple when there are addiction issues because that is an individual issue.  People who are under the influence of drugs and alcohol are not reliable, they can talk about anything but they are impaired much of the time so what's the point?  If he agrees to be better to you when he's sober you think he'll honor that when he's drunk?  Really OP you have to ask yourself what you think a therapist can do when your husband refuses to change?  Therapy is about willingness to change.

The person who needs therapy the most in this scenario is you, why would you stay in this marriage?  Really why?  The cheating is the least of it!

Go to Al Anon, now.  The people who you will meet there are the real experts, they are the ones who live with the addicts and will be a safe place for you to cry, vent, and get real advice that you can use.  Start concentrating on yourself OP, stop worrying about how to make him better.

Concentrate on you.[/quote]

Ive just found out about the cheating. I'm staying for logistical reasons and to give our marriage a real (final) shot. I'm pregnant and SAH - I want to have the baby and line up a job before leaving (if I do choose ultimately to leave). I also live overseas. The situation is difficult but not as difficult as going back to the states with no job, a pregnancy, and a toddler. [/quote]

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