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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Didn't, we divorced.  Within months I felt the sexy come back after dating.[/quote]

Sexy come back for your ex or just in general towards people you were dating?[/quote]

For me.  It was a long before the divorce that I didn't feel sexy for my ex[/quote]

OP here - yes [b]I lost my physical attraction to him long ago, objectively I can appreciate his attractiveness but no part of me wants to lean in and make out with him. [/b] But I want to try to get that back, I do believe the other aspects are on the road to repair and we could have a good marriage.  I don't know how to get the physical side back though - or whether that's even possible - and I don't want to stay married if I can't.[/quote]

Was what I put in bold part of the discovered underlying problem?

Regardless, if you don't get your ''sexy back'' you could well find yourself getting it back with another man. It isn't all about sex, but rather the intimacy outside of sex and within sex as well. So, since no part of you wants to lean in and make out...that's a big issue for the vast majority.[/quote]

OP here - I lost my attraction for him because he was a mean jerk due to poorly controlled stress and anxiety.  Through therapy and meds he's addressed his anxiety issues which has made him a nicer person and better partner.  I want to get back feeling attracted to him, not just thinking of him as a good / logical partner.[/quote]

pp her.

Glad he got his issues taken care of. Being unable to control stress and anxiety is a terrible thing for the individual and those around them.

Was it a tough road for him to get past his issues? Did he do it as much for his family as himself? Is his kindness and improvement genuine and consistent?

If there are yeses to the above then I see two things. One is forgiveness...real forgiveness. The other is appreciation.

Keep this in mind, in the absence of chemical attraction and desire the mind and heart play big roles. So, don't think about sexy, just appreciation and a desire for more intimate connection. He has things he likes and hopefully so do you. Start simple and build from there. Don't think to much, just plan and do. And don't have a preset idea of how it should go.[/quote]

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