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[quote=Anonymous]Does your lack of desire come from your self esteem issues or is it separate?  I have had two kids and my self esteem is shot because my stomach looks awful and when I gained and lost the weight (not even that much - just 30 pounds each pregnancy, gone by the six week checkup each time) my breasts and stomach seem to just sag.  I think it looks horrid.  So I understand that completely.

My libido didn't really return till around a year after I had the last kid, but now it's back with a vengeance.  I handle the self esteem stuff by wearing lingerie.  So I wear some sort of sexy corset- type thing and by the time we are really going at it, I can deal with my husband removing it.  It helps that he really wants me naked, so it must not be that terrible to him.  I admit to preferring low light though.  So if this is mostly coming from feeling self-conscious, I suggest you get some nice lingerie.

If it's more than being self-conscious, and this is way different than you were before libido-wise, are you just exhausted?  Three kids is a lot.  I was mentally exhausted and just kind of made myself start fantasizing and that would kickstart things.  Or a glass of wine.[/quote]

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