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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A lot of men don't understand all of the work that goes into any of the minutia with being the primary caregiver or default parent for a child. And they have not learned how to sacrifice continually for a demanding and thankless child that is learning. For a lot of men, when this responsibility falls on them, it is a rude awakening. [/quote]

Does this really happen when people get divorced?  I kind of imagine that if my husband and I got divorced, he would have the kids every other weekend when he had time, and I would be making excuses about how busy and important their father is and how lucky they are to have such an important dad and hoping they didn't feel abandoned.  In short, I can't imagine it would be that different than it is now.[/quote]

That is exactly how it is in my case.  I don't want to alienate the kids from their father, so I still make excuses for him.  I never say anything bad.  We've been apart for four years now and the kids are just starting to see and talk about how they don't appear to be a priority to their father.  I acknowledge their feelings now and nod my head, but I do not pile anything on. They figure it out.

Having said that, I am still the one that makes an effort to find ways for the kids to see their father.  It's really not much different than when we were married.  The best part is that I no longer really have any expectations of my ex as a parent.  I am truly a single mom.  He sees the kids approx two days a month and does not contribute  his time to any of their activities. He won't toss a baseball around with them, teach them how to shave, etc.  Zippo.  Nonetheless, it is better for them to have this father than none at all.[/quote]

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