Reply to Wife Needs to Stop Dumping All Her Emotional Negativity on Me. It's Killing My Love for Her

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Reply to "Wife Needs to Stop Dumping All Her Emotional Negativity on Me. It's Killing My Love for Her"

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[quote=Anonymous]First, she needs to feel you've heard her and that you understand the issues and how tough she has it. Women often don't feel heard, so they go on and on, trying to get some soothing response from men. And men, in hearing women vent, don't necessarily respond well, because they feel helpless and overwhelmed by the negative. Men want to fix things and be done with it. The venting stresses them. Women often find venting relieves stress.

You could research some therapists she might talk to, so you have those names ready. Then have a talk with her about how you hear and understand how tough things are for her, and you sympathize and wish you could fix it, but you can't really do anything. Acknowledge that often men and women react differently to venting, and how it is for you versus her. And tell her that hearing so much negativity when you can't fix it is getting you depressed and stressed, and that you want to spend more time with her focusing on positive things. And that you can see it helps her to vent, and she needs someone to vent to who can be a good ear, who won't get upset to see her stressed, and who may be able to offer her good insights on things. And then, if she's amenable to that, get to work with her to get things set up with a therapist.[/quote]

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