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[quote=Anonymous]I think for a lot of people they feel closer to their parents when they have children. When you have a parent like yours, you will probably feel the opposite. I feel anger toward my mom when I do things for my children that she didn't do for me or when I think of the things she said to me as a child. I'm not sure if my mom is bipolar or narcissistic personality disorder as I suspect. But she thinks she was a perfect parent and things I am an unhinged lunatic parent.

I keep limited contact with her. She stays in a hotel when she visits and we stay in hotels to visit her. We talk on the phone when she calls me. I keep it light. I never tell her bad stuff or the normal struggles of life with small kids. She will just tell me I'm having trouble because I'm a terrible parent. All visits with her end badly but I do suffer through them once or twice a year. Generally she sits in a chair and expects my kids to run and bestow unending adoration upon her even though she hardly talks to them and never plays with them. After a few days of her feeling like they don't worship her enough she gets "sick". This will involve needing to lie on our sofa and be catered to, having to pull over while driving so she can vomit on the side of the road, and other attention seeking behavior. I don't care anymore. I tolerate it and go through the motions because drawing her wrath would've even worse. My husband says I'm a different person when she is around. He tolerates it.

My advice to you: limit interactions to what you can handle. Control the flow of information. Protect your child and yourself. Control as much as you can without your mom really knowing. My mom despite this all seems to think that I adore her and value her advice, attention, etc. my life is better with her thinking that than cutting her off entirely. You and your family is the first priority. Do what you need for yourself.[/quote]

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