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[quote=Anonymous]Early experience of child neglect/abuse can cause and adult to devalue themselves and therefor not thing the current abuse is wrong, or that they deserve it.

For example, in her head she may be thinking, "if I were not so annoying he would not have to yell at me and hit me".

She probably thinks, "I am not perfect either" so I can't expect my boyfriend to be perfect, he "just has some issues he is dealing with" and I am strong enough to deal with that.

She has not learned proper boundaries due to her past life, and since she has had a stable life with you she is a very good candidate for therapy to learrn that she should not tolerate being treated like this because people do love you and they don't treat you like this.

You should get a therapist for yourself and eventually her that has a background in childhood neglect/trauma/abuse. She can learn that what she feels is normal is a manifestation of early experiences that were not normal and that was why she ended up in foster care.

In the meantime, I would contact her RA and the counseling office at school. She could just talk to them for the next few weeks. I would present this as... they are just somebody you can talk to, they care about you and your friends probably don't know what to say. In the meantime go to counselor yourself to try to understand how to support her through this. When she comes home she should go to therapy.

If you think her life is in danger, you need to call the police.

Here is the thing, you probably have a very strong daughter, but she has low self esteem (this is normal). If you can get her through this with the help of a therapist, you will end up with a daughter who is both strong and has a high self esteem and what a great adult she will make.

Good luck! Stay strong! You are a good mom![/quote]

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