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[quote=Anonymous]My college age DD is being physically and verbally/emotionally abused by her boyfriend. She lives in a dorm on campus; he lives in an apartment nearby. The abuse is occurring at the apartment. I do not know many details, as she is not fully sharing it with me in detail, but the apartment neighbors called the police last month. By the time the police arrived, he had left. My DD texted me the next day and told me. She also texted one of her sisters.

After that incident, I called the national domestic violence hotline and they were very helpful. I may call them again. They gave me good talking points to help my daughter. I do feel that the lines of communication are open with my daughter and she trusts me, so I have an opening to be able to help. I am completely in the dark about this topic as I have not experienced it ever in my life in any form. Our daughter experienced it in her early years with her first family prior to going into foster care. (We adopted her at an older age). She is now experiencing it again. We are uncertain what to do.

A second violent incident occurred two days ago. My DD texted that she had some pain yesterday. When I suggested the pain came from the incident on Tuesday, she did not confirm or deny. I asked her to go to the doctor to get her injury treated. I do think she will go, but I don't think she will tell the doctor how it happened.

I guess I'm asking for ideas and advice on how to support her and empower her without alienating her. I am tempted to contact this boyfriend myself and give him a piece of my mind, but I worry about that exacerbating the situation for my DD. Things are already escalating. I did call the Feans office at her college. She had previously signed a release allowing us to talk with this office. They said they would do a wellness check on her. I'm certain she would not tell them the truth.

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