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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is tough. Even a parent in assisted living may need a fair amount of care from you -- someone to go with them to doctor's appts, to advocate if meds aren't working/are having negative side effects, report new symptoms to various doctors, coordinate care between all the doctors and other medical staff (PT, care givers, etc.) If the parent has in home care, you need to be the "boss" of the caregivers -- manage schedules, do payroll/taxes, deal with conflicts etc. If you have a parent with a slow moving debilitating condition (i.e., dementia, or something else that won't kill them but will require a lot of care) you may have to play this role for a long time. GL.[/quote]

And I want to add . . . we went the assisted living route. Still a lot of work for me (only child in the DC area) but at least I am not changing my parent's diapers. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I couldn't do it (physically and emotionally) on top of working and parenting small children. We don't have room for a parent plus caregiver in our house, so the other option was to hire round the clock in home care for my parent at their home. We considered that (it may have been slightly cheaper than the assisted living place) but I was worried about it. Much like having a nanny, it is hard to find someone (or multiple people, for round the clock care) that you trust and you and your parent can have a good relationship with. Caregiving for a heavy, ornery senior is hard work. Many caregivers come and go, are not reliable, etc. and/or require you to ignore illegal immigration status. I was afraid of not being able to find a good caregiving situation, so we opted for assisted living. The caregivers there are not perfect, either, but at least I am not managing them.[/quote]

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