Reply to If your marriage got better after being on the brink of divorce..

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]15:13, you are amazing.  [/quote]

+1.  after what i went through, i really appreciate hearing what you had to do to keep your kids safe, get your DW to see the light, and keep your family intact...and that you are now reaping the benefits.

i had a post partum mental health crisis and my DH was in complete denial, even after i asked him for help after our second DC was born.  he ignored it while i was so depressed (think suicidal ideation/wishing i could be hit by a bus and have it all end).  i was a SAHM with no community and had to claw my way back to mental stability with literally no help from DH.  i went back to work FT and after a year of being back at work i was *this close* to walking out on him.  when i confronted him, he actually accused me of being depressed for so many years.  i asked him "what did you do to help me with that?"  he couldn't answer because the truth was NOTHING.  i was utterly on my own with two children under the age of two, the PPD lasted more than a year, it was terrifying and i am still pretty traumatized by it.

we did a year of marriage counseling (i did 6 months of IC).  now, 5 months post-counseling, and now that my youngest is 5, we are both seeing the error of our ways.  i recently had the flu and i was scared to death about how not helpful DH would be, given his track record of not taking care of me.  but, he was amazing.  it was like being married to a different person.  it gave me much more confidence in my marriage.

that innocent "being in love" feeling has been long gone.  i am doubtful it will ever come back.  but, i have been working on the forgiveness aspect, which is so very hard.  but, if we can continually treat each other with respect and let go of our resentments, i am hoping to get to a place where i trust him and can, once again, actually feel like he is my one of my best friends, instead of somebody that i have to tolerate to keep my family intact.  [/quote]

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