Reply to How to turn around a fight?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What if they just use "breaking up" as a defense mechanism. What if they don't really want to, but are just saying it[/quote]

counseling. Because that's a pretty nuclear thing to say during a fight. [/quote]

Agree with this but I don't even know if I would pursue counseling.  [b]Using breaking up as a threat to shut down an argument will just leave the other person constantly terrified of bringing up any issues they have because they don't want their partner to leave.[/b]  BTDT, if you say you want to break up, you better mean it because I'm going to assume you do and treat the relationship as over.  [/quote]

BTDT too. I spent years of my life in a relationship with a man who did this (and other emotionally abusive things). Then I spent years rebuilding my self esteem to the point where I could end it with him. Then I spent years trying to figure out healthy boundaries so I could meet the right man who is secure enough that he doesn't need pull this crap to get attention.

OP, if I were you, the next time he put a breakup on the table, I would walk away.[/quote]

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