Reply to How to turn around a fight?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "How to turn around a fight?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Apologize. And not a "I am sorry that you misinterpreted what I said" half apology that is really about the other person making a mistake. Actually apologize. "I am sorry for ..... I did not intend to hurt your feelings or make you upset. I will make sure that I don't [...] again." Then, don't do it. The other person can continue to talk, but there is no need to be nuclear and threaten breaking up.

"I am sorry I talked to another woman at the bar and touched her arm. I did not intend to hurt your feelings or make you upset. I did not think about what I was doing. I will make sure that I don't flirt with someone again."

"I am sorry I left the dishes in the sink and did not clean up, even after you had already cleaned the kitchen once. I did not intend to hurt your feelings or make you upset. I did not think about what I was doing. I will make sure I keep the kitchen clean from now on."

It pretty much takes the wind out of someone's sails to admit your mistake. As a PP pointed out, most people want to "win" the fight. The fight becomes about how you can talk to whomever you want at a bar. Talking is not cheating. She was talking to me. One dish never killed anyone. The fight becomes defending your actions. When really, the thing that matters is that your actions negatively impacted a person who you care deeply about and who you did not intend to hurt. If you admit that, then you both can move on.

All of this assumes that the other person is equally, usually, rational and emotionally stable. Not someone who is abusive or who holds things over your head or who is so emotionally wound up that EVERYTHING is an attack. But, for most people, this works. [/quote]

Are you male or a female?

Has it worked for you (or has it worked on you, if you are not the one apologizing)?[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics