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Reply to "Do you have a sibling code?"
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[quote=Anonymous] My relationship with my brother was awful when our mother was alive. Now, it's mutually-supportive and respectful. But, with my own children, I've tried to effect a strong bond between them. I will give them hell when they try to subvert the bedtime schedule EXCEPT in cases where one of them pops into bed with the other. That is adorable. They work together in their mischief, too. I love it! I'm a boho weirdo, so I looked up their horoscopes before DC2 was born and was warned that they would likely collude. So, I've been preparing them for the eventual sneaking out of the house and car theft of their teens by encouraging them to cover for one another. They are early elementary age, so it's only been things like bedtime or television antics. Maybe a fruit snack incident or two! My elder did share with me that he once threw up after eating too much popcorn at the movies and cleaned the whole thing up to avoid telling me. The younger put the towel in the wash. My response? I talked about not eating so much you get sick, but also congratulated them on working together when dealing with it. I just asked to be involved when there's trouble in the future. There are times when I let them know that an activity is allowed only if they BOTH manage it well. Maybe that's part of the code? The elder will help the younger stay on track. The younger is more vigilant because of the consequences. Nobody gets to blame anyone else for things going wrong. Someone at work mentioned being resentful because they'd been punished as a kid for something their older brother did (like wake the parent up or what not) when they were kids. So, I'm mindful of that. Still, I'm an older mom and the children don't have any extended family. They are all they're each going to have at some point, outside of friends and partners. So, a sibling code is something I guess I think about when making decisions. Why do you ask, OP? [/quote]
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