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[quote=Anonymous]This is more than a vent rather than a request for guidance or advice.

My mother and I are very close; I work full time and she watches my son 2x a week (the other 3 days a week he is in day care).  She is very involved with him and likes me to give her play by play updates on how he is doing.  He has always been a challenging sleeper since he was born, and he regularly will only take very short naps.  He naps really well at day care but when he is home with her he will often only nap for an hour to an hour and a half.  Its not great, but he is almost 2 and he is generally pretty pleasant even though he doesn't get as much sleep as is recommended at his age.

He was going to bed around 8, but after the time change, he regularly whines and resists going to bed and doesn't fall asleep until 9.  On Saturday, he was exhausted during the day and actually napped for 3.5 hours while at home, so at bedtime, he REALLY did not want to go to bed and didn't fall asleep until 9:30.

Last night I had dinner at my sister's house, and my sister said that my son has me wrapped around his finger.  My mom jumped in and agreed, and said that I need to be the parent.  I said I am the parent and she snapped back "NO YOU ARE NOT!"

I was really hurt and upset by this.  I feel like I am constantly seeking her approval and she will never give it to me.  Its like I need to prove my worth to her as a mother.  She does compliment the job I'm doing as a mother sometimes, but she always finds fault with the decisions I make.  I am not a perfect parent, but by all reasonable measures, I am doing pretty darn well.  My son is a delightful boy and is well cared for.  He lives in a nice home in a great area, doesn't want for anything, and most importantly, he is LOVED.    My mom was a full time stay at home mom, as is my sister, and she definitely thinks that being a stay at home mom is the best way to parent.  I have to work, so that is not an option for me.  Its like she holds it over my head that she helps us out by watching him two days a week.  She seems to think she knows him better than I do, and that she cares for him as much as I do.

I don't really see a way to improve the situation other than establishing more boundaries between us.   We could afford to put him in day care full time, but he loves being with her and I don't think it would be fair to him to change his day care situation just because my feelings are hurt and I'm angry with her.

She apologized but she never said that I am a good mother, she said that she knows I "do my best as a parent."  Even in her "apology" she won't give me the approval I am seeking.

Anyway, vent over.  I'm just feeling sad and don't see that this situation will ever really improve, and my only real choice is to set boundaries and stop seeking approval from her.  [/quote]

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