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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents split after 25 years of marriage.  My sister and I were teenagers, my brother in college.  There were some bumpy, awkward years as everyone adjusted.

It's now been 20 years and everyone is in a really good place.  My parents are both remarried.  They have a good relationship and are friendly, as are their partners.  We all spend holidays and birthdays and major life events for us kids or the grandkids, all together.  We spend a week all in one huge house with both my mom and her DH and my dad and his DW.  It's awesome.  I love that they worked hard at getting over the awkward stage so that we can be a functional family unit.  I love my step-parents for being big enough to work through the weirdness.  I love that they put US first and figured out a way to not make holidays and the like annoying.

I will say, the big family events all together weren't really needed before the weddings and grandkids came.  So there was maybe 10 years before that for everyone to adjust a bit.  But once my siblings and I were all married, we had in-laws who we needed to split time with, so doing separate holidays and the like was just impossible.  So[b] it became clear the choice was "do things together, or see our kids/grandkids LESS" and they choose "do things together".
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My divorced parents are happier and more functional than my DH's still-married-after-40-years parents.[/quote]

My parents divorced after a long marriage.  They were very unhappy and my mom began a long-term affair.  Right now, they are courteous and make small talk well.  My mom likes to believe we are all a big happy family, but of course we are not.  Nobody likes her boyfriend (who has only recently divorced his own wife) and [b]my dad refuses to spend time with him[/b].  So my mom likes to pretend that things are fine, and everyone else just avoids the situation.  She just tells herself my dad is too busy.

It really is true that divorce = less grandchild time.  My mom is not happy about this but there's nothing I can do, she should have thought of it when she made her life choices.  I didn't really mind having divorced parents in my 20s and early 30s, but now that I am dragging a spouse and toddlers between their houses on the holidays, it sucks.  Lots more logistical effort, money, and time.  And I can already see that it's going to be hell when they're actually old and I have to care for them both in separate places.[/quote]

Does your dad date?[/quote]

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