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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If she wants to go, wish her well and offer to help her pack. [b]She's a grown woman.[/b] If she gets ill or injured she can deal with it herself. Or, if she wants to, she can use all the money she's assured herself she's saving in taxes to fly you out and pay for a temp nanny for your kid. [/quote]

NP here.  I think this response over-simplifies the situation.  I think most of us go through three stages of life: childhood, adulthood and the very end, which looks a lot more like childhood than it looks like adulthood.  At the final stage, we can't expect a person to take care of themselves, or to bear the responsibility for making all decisions related to their lives and care, any more than we could expect it from a teen (or a toddler).

Treating an elderly person like an adult (PP your response is an example) certainly helps them preserve their independence and dignity, and in some cases it's the only option legally or logistically.  But the line between stage 2 and stage 3 in life gets blurry.  PP either you're assuming OP's mother is completely in her right mind (you could be right; we don't know), or perhaps you don't feel that children should feel any responsibility for the welfare of their parents in the final stage of life.  [/quote]

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