Reply to My sister is quitting her job to care for my mother

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[quote=Anonymous]I took care of my MIL and now she is in a nursing home but manage everything.  It was the only option as my husband's brother and SIL lived close by but they refused to help or even visit.  We moved her cross-county.  I would offer to keep the aid or be prepared to get another one.  Caring full time sounds good but then the reality is very different.  It was very difficult and stressful to manage our home with her due to her needs.  Also, your sister, if she has kids cannot be there 24/7.  An aide is a huge help.  I would do both if you have that option.  Or, housekeeping.  You could also do grocery delivery (we did that for my MIL when she lived cross country).  I would never accept money to help out family so offer help as you are vs. money.  I'd be very uncomfortable with that offer.  Providing an aide, housekeeping, helping with clothing shopping, grocery shopping, managing finances (especially the medical piece), etc. are all good way to help.  Also, going for a week or two to give them a break for a vacation or just a break, and long weekends too as you are doing would be a huge help.  (or us even a 5 minute phone call would be appreciated either to us or to mom).

Make sure you have all the paperwork in place - power of attorney or legal guardianship if she cannot care for herself mentally anymore (you can file in court not represented and its very easy surprisingly without a lawyer.)[/quote]

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