Reply to To the person who recommended the book, "Yes Your Teen is Crazy!"

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "To the person who recommended the book, "Yes Your Teen is Crazy!""

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP here.  The idea that the teen brain craves stimulation, and it will take either positive or negative stimulation to get its need met.

So, praising works to fulfill that need, but you getting mad at them and having a big brew-ha-ha also  fills that stimulation need--both parental responses help hardwire the teen's prior behavior into their system because both rewards their brain.

So the trick is, when they do something you don't like, to give them zero stimulation rather than getting upset with them.  Zero brain stimulation is the only way to avoid the hard-wiring of the behavior, or to lessen the effect of previously hard-wired behavior. (Meaning, you give no drama).

So if you say, "Stop doing X" and teen says, "No, I'm doing X" instead of forcing that issue "Stop doing X Now!" blah blah….you say, super-calmly (I actually am saying it pleasantly) "Ok, fine, you can choose to do X, but, you know, if you do, you get no Y tomorrow."

The other thing I took from it is that when my teen said or did something, I don't take it as a larger issue, "he doesn't respect his father" or "he's growing up so rude,"--now I take it as, "it's a phase, he knows how to be respectful because I taught him how, before the phase…"

I read it a week ago.  Last night I received, "Good night, mom.  I love you."  (To which I gave a lot of brain stimulation back!!)[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics