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[quote=Anonymous]The reason I did not answer is because it is too long of a story for a DCUM post.

The short version is Year 1-7 was great 1-5 was dating.
We had kids - huge stress trigger.
I find out my H suffers from anxiety... GAD which was not apparent until we had kids. 
Year 11: He becomes self destructive... (affair)
Okay, in sickness and healthy, we get counseling. 
I continue therapy for 3 years, he quits because I am apparently the broken one. He can control his controlling for months at a time, but he "falls off the wagon" and becomes controlling for months at a time. (If you picture yelling and screaming that is incorrect, he just wanted thing a certain way and would let me know I was wrong about 5 times a day. I was very good at ignoring it.) 
Year 20: He becomes self destructive again (affair) so I ask for a divorce.
In therapy he realizes he was a victim of childhood trauma, probably has PTSD and has for about 40 years without therapy. Having kids triggered something he could not cope with but he hid it so well, except being controlling. 
Back to in sickness and health.
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