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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Maybe she is trying hard to not say something regrettable. I often resort to not talking if I'm angry but mulling over what I should or shouldn't be commenting on. I have a habit of saying something more harshly than I intend. When given a counter opinion I sometimes think on it for a while especially if I am having a hard time seeing that other pint of view. I've gotten to the point where I tell my husband that my silence is not aimed at him but necessary in order to back off my position.[/b] With my DD I only occasionally do this when I feel I have overstepped my boundaries. If I treat her like a child that I expect to obey my commands but then I stop and think wtf she's 20 and should make her own mistakes even if they are on my dime. Sure it's not pleasant to be on the receiving end but it's not always this evil tool to manipulate you.[/quote]

+1000  My mother employed the silent treatment often--I think it is a strategy used by people who were raised by controlling parents or otherwise were made to feel that voicing their point of view wouldn't matter or would have serious repercussions.  My father, not one for confrontation either, would walk around the house angrily puffing on his cigar and making sarcastic remarks.  Not the best role models for communication.  My DH was raised in the opposite type of household where people always openly commented and talked about whatever bothered them.  My silent treatments drove DH crazy and he would not let me get away with them.  I have learned over many years that it is better to tell someone that you are upset and will talk about something later, than to not talk at all.  You then follow through after you have time to think and phrase it in a kind, constructive way.  After all, this is a loved-one you are communicating with, not an enemy.

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