Reply to Has anyone gone to therapy with a parent to work on your relationship and had it succeed?

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Reply to "Has anyone gone to therapy with a parent to work on your relationship and had it succeed?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I live across the country from my parents and at one point our relationship had deteriorated so badly that I refused to see them unless they agreed to see a therapist while they were in my city visiting me and my sister.

The therapist pointed out that because we would have such limited time I needed to have specific goals with each parent. My father heard what I was saying and while I can't say things are 100% better there's been definite improvement. With my mother, there were so MANY issues that were each so BIG, that we addressed a tiny one. It was the fact that she'd never let me get off the phone until I lost my shit and screamed, "Mom, I have to GOOOOO!" and to me, the therapist said "Why don't you just hang up? Say "Mom, I've got to go. I love you; we'll talk on Thursday. Bye" and hang up the phone?" And I was like "Fascinating concept!" And to my mother the therapist said, "What will happen if Laura hangs up before you tell her that one last thing that takes 45 minutes? I mean, will you DIE?" To which my mother responded, "Maybe. Yes, maybe I will." And then I was like "Game. Over." And I stopped trying with her, which gave me a lot less stress. And I feel no guilt about it because she's so unreasonable. [/quote]

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