Reply to 14yo just asked me to please stay out of bedroom

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[quote=Anonymous]I have a 14 year old too. You need to maintain healthy boundaries but also allow teens to set boundaries, too. Here's my perspective: as long as my tween and teen want to talk to me, maintain their grades, chores and room and keep active in their extracurricular activities, I give them a little more leeway every year. So the questions are:
*Does your teen come to you to talk about his life?
*Is the room clean, safe and orderly?
* Do you have security and access to teen's computers and electronics?
* Is your teen respecting boundaries of others and family rules?
* Do you trust your teen to act responsibly, legally and with a view toward future best interests?

If so, OK, don't come into the room so much, but still check occasionally because it's your house and your rules, but come in less and show the kid that you're giving your trust and as long as trust is respected, you will give more. Of course, the trust and privileges can be taken away if rules are broken or grades slide.

Also, do stuff together with your teen just the two of you. DH takes my teen with him to the gym and teen and I go on nightly walks after dinner to chat. These are times for teen to talk about school or news or issues. Checking in daily prevents drama and meltdowns later on.

Hope this helps. [/quote]

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