Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want "privacy" get your own place. Your phone, room, and car are actually mine.... I can look at them any time I want to, don't give me a reason to look.

Now if you want privacy, I will not barge into your room, I will not search your room, I will not read your text messages, I will not search your car.

But that is because I have no reason to do so.

Don't do anything that you don't want on the front page of the Washington Post, because if you do anything... it will at least make the Metro section. People love to see rich people's children in trouble.

Privacy... gmafb

Yea, I fall on this (bolded) side of parenting too.

Anonymous wrote:I have a 14 year old too. You need to maintain healthy boundaries but also allow teens to set boundaries, too. Here's my perspective: as long as my tween and teen want to talk to me, maintain their grades, chores and room and keep active in their extracurricular activities, I give them a little more leeway every year. So the questions are:
*Does your teen come to you to talk about his life?
*Is the room clean, safe and orderly?
* Do you have security and access to teen's computers and electronics?
* Is your teen respecting boundaries of others and family rules?
* Do you trust your teen to act responsibly, legally and with a view toward future best interests?

If so, OK, don't come into the room so much, but still check occasionally because it's your house and your rules, but come in less and show the kid that you're giving your trust and as long as trust is respected, you will give more. Of course, the trust and privileges can be taken away if rules are broken or grades slide.

Also, do stuff together with your teen just the two of you. DH takes my teen with him to the gym and teen and I go on nightly walks after dinner to chat. These are times for teen to talk about school or news or issues. Checking in daily prevents drama and meltdowns later on.

Hope this helps.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, the door is hardly ever closed. If DC is in there, I usually knock on the door jamb before I go in, but DC's talking about when no one's there. In order to maintain an apparently needed sense of privacy, DC prefers that I not to go in there. Thoughts?

Suspicious and I would go their his/her room with them.

Masturbation isn't suspicious

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, the door is hardly ever closed. If DC is in there, I usually knock on the door jamb before I go in, but DC's talking about when no one's there. In order to maintain an apparently needed sense of privacy, DC prefers that I not to go in there. Thoughts?

Suspicious and I would go their his/her room with them.

Anonymous wrote:I have a 14 year old too. You need to maintain healthy boundaries but also allow teens to set boundaries, too. Here's my perspective: as long as my tween and teen want to talk to me, maintain their grades, chores and room and keep active in their extracurricular activities, I give them a little more leeway every year. So the questions are:
*Does your teen come to you to talk about his life?
*Is the room clean, safe and orderly?
* Do you have security and access to teen's computers and electronics?
* Is your teen respecting boundaries of others and family rules?
* Do you trust your teen to act responsibly, legally and with a view toward future best interests?

If so, OK, don't come into the room so much, but still check occasionally because it's your house and your rules, but come in less and show the kid that you're giving your trust and as long as trust is respected, you will give more. Of course, the trust and privileges can be taken away if rules are broken or grades slide.

Also, do stuff together with your teen just the two of you. DH takes my teen with him to the gym and teen and I go on nightly walks after dinner to chat. These are times for teen to talk about school or news or issues. Checking in daily prevents drama and meltdowns later on.

Hope this helps.

Anonymous wrote:If you want "privacy" get your own place. Your phone, room, and car are actually mine.... I can look at them any time I want to, don't give me a reason to look.

Now if you want privacy, I will not barge into your room, I will not search your room, I will not read your text messages, I will not search your car.

But that is because I have no reason to do so.

Don't do anything that you don't want on the front page of the Washington Post, because if you do anything... it will at least make the Metro section. People love to see rich people's children in trouble.

Privacy... gmafb

Anonymous wrote:I wanted family to stay out of my room when I wasn't there when I was 14. I wasn't hiding anything, but somehow at that age privacy seemed very important. My parents humored me.

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, the door is hardly ever closed. If DC is in there, I usually knock on the door jamb before I go in, but DC's talking about when no one's there. In order to maintain an apparently needed sense of privacy, DC prefers that I not to go in there. Thoughts?