Reply to Why would someone fight a spouse who wants a divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Usually a moral/ethical motivation behind fighting to stay married and live up to that vow of "til death do us part".[/quote]

I'm very very skeptical. I have only ever seen a couple of examples of this, and in each case, [b]a civil divorce proceeded, while the religious one did not.[/b]  The "moral/ethical" person remained celibate (single) while the partner who wanted out went on along and did whatever they wanted (generally remarried).  I think it is a huge chunk of denial (not just a river in Egypt!).

My own mother actually refused to remarry, but it is hardly for religious or "ethical" motives; she is determined to go through life in the victim/wronged role and martyrdom is her mantle.  It's much much easier to avoid taking responsibility for the things that went down.

I think it's much more the case that they are heartbroken, sad at the loss, and going to try to do anything they can to stop it, hoping the other person will come around.  If you've ever been dumped or experienced unrequited love, you know perfectly well that you'd be emotionally willing to pretty much do anything to get the person who didn't want you to want you.  The only trick is fighting the temptation to cave in to that.  [/quote]

Exactly. Got into an argument one time with a couple who believed that you're not really married unless you were married in a church. Told my then-husband and me that we weren't really married because we were married by a judge, not a priest. Therefore, we were simply in a civil union. Never mind that these two were both divorced, through the courts and not through either church, so I proceeded to tell them that they were still married and were adulterers and living in sin with one another. They didn't like that too much. [/quote]

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