Reply to Emotional Labor - a good read for men AND women

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A woman here, and this was an interesting read.  I think there is a lot of truth here.  However, I have a visceral reaction to anything that just completely categorizes how women think vs how men think.  I can relate to some things said in the thread, but not others - I don't think I am a "stereotypical" woman, whatever that means.

Couldn't this be summed up by saying that it should be important to everyone to be emotionally supportive of your family and friends and spouses, to maintain and nurture those relationships?  And that in many cases, it's often the females who take on more of this role?  But isn't this like any division of roles between two partners - you communicate and you come to an understanding of what your roles are, and if something is not working, you communicate some more and come up with a better solution together, right?[/quote]

I think that is exactly the point of it alll - that Emotional Labor shouldn't be done by JUST one person in a relationship - be they man or woman. That EVERYONE needs to do it.

Hell - business people would benefit greatly if they took the time and effort to pay attention to their clients and do a little "emotional labor" - you hear about that certain salesman who knows all the kids of all his clients and asks about them and how they are doing in college - it takes WORK to keep up that information but the person does it because he/she knows 1/it is appreciated and 2/it is good for his/her business to have a relationship with clients.

My take on all of it - no person should be expected to do anything under the assumption that their gender is "better at it". I am FUCKING NOT BETTER AT LAUNDRY. No one wants to clean toilets. No one wants to fold clothes. Making doc appointments, taking kids to their events, being the person on call - these things and all the other examples should be shared duties.  A wife should not automatically get burdened with all the chores and child rearing because she is female - but it's true. Meet a woman that doesn't like kids and society goes "ew, whats wrong with her" but meet a man who doesn't want kids and nobody cares.

Its a double standard. ME? I would LOVE a wife that does everything I do. Come home from work and do nothing the rest of the night while I'm fed a home cooked meal and someone else takes care of the house and the kids? SIGN ME UP! (that's the deal my husband has had for a long time due to various things - but 4 years ago I went back to work full time, am now the major breadwinner and provide all the benefits for the family, and yet all of the other roles have not changed at all. Believe me, I have tried. Exhausted? I'm worn out. Yes, we're in counseling, 9 months and so far no progress.)

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