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[quote=Anonymous]OP, DH and I had to go through this for YEARS with SIL! Here's my advice: keep your sister and her BF away from the kids. It's one thing to put with your sister's self-imposed drama yourself, but it's really unfair to impose her and her BF on your kids -- or even your DH!

I guarantee that this will eventually go south -- and that she'll blame everybody but herself. In the meantime, you can expect meltdowns, scenes, dramatic threats and demands for unconditional acceptance of her lifestyle -- while she condemns yours! OTOH, maybe my SIL was bipolar as well, but let's just say it's safe to assume that in accepting and forgiving her BF for deceit and deciding to become an active, ongoing participant in somebody else's infidelity -- and most likely deceit -- your sister has a few emotional problems too.

Note that this is NOT the same as being openly poly and/or monogamish. I know people who are and the absolute reject deceit and lies. Your sister's BF lives for lies. He probably qualifies as what other DCUM posters would label as narcissistic.

In any case, keep them both at arms' length. You don't have to accept your sister's B.S./denial/immature nonsense as the new normal. She has her own life, and if she wastes years on this guy, she has no right to drag anyone else down with her. This won't have a happy ending, even he marries her, which he wouldn't. If he did, he'd leave her for someone else.

Protect yourself, your marriage and your kids. Keep your relationship with your sister to coffee with her alone or family gatherings with your parents. Never ever let her BF enter your family life in any way.

BTDT! It was an utter waste of time.
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