Reply to How to decline being a bridesmaid in stepsister's wedding?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The baby stays at home with your DH.  You fly out just for the wedding and be a bridesmaid.  You let her know that financially you won't be able to make multiple trips, but of course, being there for the wedding is the most important thing.[/quote]

Baby can't stay home; she can fly for free plus I will still be nursing occasionally.  I see her so little as it is working full-time, I don't want to go 4 days without seeing her. Also, SS will want to meet her. [/quote]

Why would you go four days without seeing her? Fly out the evening before the rehearsal (so you'll see her that day) or even the morning of the rehearsal day (so you'd see her that day), stay for the rehearsal day and wedding day, then fly out the next morning (so you see her that day too). Then you're only talking about not seeing her for one or two days.

Also, do you really think your stepsister would rather have none of you at the wedding than just you without the baby? The whole "SS will want to meet her" is a flimsy excuse.

When is the wedding?[/quote]

I'm definitely not going without DD.  Someone just commented that she could stay home with DH but she won't.

The main question is if it's tacky to decline being a bridesmaid but attending the wedding nonetheless.

[/quote]

Yes, yes it is. You are selfish.[/quote]
-1! The Bride is being selfish.

OP, your baby comes first. The bride can ask someone else. She probably has a half a dozen attendants anyway.

Just stay home -- with baby and a vastly relieved DH, who I can guarantee you does NOT want to go to the wedding -- and save your $$$!!

Ask your DH: "honey, from your heart, do you want to go to stepsister's wedding?"

Every man on this board -- or across the DMV, possibly the planet -- will scream in unison a resounding "NO!"

Stay home. Save $$. Avoid stressing your DH and baby. Let your stepsister send you photos later.[/quote]

OP here. I'm sure DH doesn't want to go (haha at your comment) but I don't mind traveling without him. We traveled during Xmas with DD and it wasn't as bad as I thought!

And I truly don't think my SS is being selfish because she said she understood. [b]I do want to be there; just can't commit to being a bridesmaid.[/b]  I think she only asked me because it would be "expected" for family to be included when in actuality, it's surprising.  Even my mom was surprised! [/quote]

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