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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you can tell mom to get therapy and/or medication, but unless she's a danger to self or others, that's all you can or need to do. Sometimes, elderly and infirm housebound people get home health aides, but it sounds like she's just fin e physically.

So here's what I suggest: disengage for a while. I know it sounds hard, selfish, etc., but you have to protect your own sanity. She's your mom, not vice versa. Since she has no room to nurture you, make space to nurture yourself. When she calls, set a mental time limit to the conversation and stick to it. Tell her that you have other things to do, hang up politely and do them.

Treat yourself to something special because you deserve it, and as for any residual guilt you may feel, forgive yourself because you DON'T deserve the guilt. You're doing your best to support and encourage your mom, and you're getting very little in return. So take time and space to appreciate yourself. She's been this way for a while and will most likely stay this way, but you've got to give yourself a respite.[/quote]

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