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[quote=Anonymous]Op sorry you're getting such negative responses.  People with parents who act like parents and not children simply cannot relate.

I have a mom like yours, only more severely mentally ill, but the debbie downer stuff is similar and exhausting.  You're not going to be able to change her mind, and any effort you expend to "make her happy" will only work short term.  I don't have great advice, but one thing that has helped me in therapy (like I mentioned, my mom is really bad, so I work on this stuff a lot in therapy) is my mantra: "she's an adult."

Your mom is an adult who has free agency.  She can find something in life to make her happy, she can seek therapy, she can be miserable.  But you can't do any of those things for her.  Next time she starts complaining, instead of starting to try to fix it or "make her happy," say "I know you'll figure this out.  If you need help brainstorming I'm always here for you."  It's not an abandonment - you're still here for her, but not in the role of the fixer.

Good luck!  I know it's exhausting.[/quote]

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