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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH has been pissing me off all week. First, he said he was going to buy his mom a present and didn't because his mom never told him the model type she wanted. He leaves me scrambling to get her something last minute so she at least has something under the tree. He usually helps clean up but leaves it all to his mom and makes it awkward for me. Then he watches football/ESPN all day yesterday and now is playing video games while ignoring his mom, me and the kids.

It's like he transformed back into his college self. I am sure this is what he did with his family when he was a kid. We have our own family now. I want to scream at him but I can't because his mom is here.[/quote] You know that in future years you will have to clearly outline what is going to happen so you don't have a repeat. Remember your I statements: When you __________ I feel neglected/ignored, etc. Then state what you need him to do instead. Of course his argument is that he is relaxing, it's his downtime, etc. However tell him how important family time is to you during the holidays and how much you would love it if he was an active participant. If you don't nip it now it will only get worse. Don't be a nag just state you case, give your expectations, and move forward. [/quote]

I statements are so ineffective. It's much better to say "Stop being so lazy and checked out, you worthless piece of shit" instead of "I feel hurt when you play video games all day."  The first is honest and direct. The second is manipulative and passive aggressive.[/quote]

Agree.

Does he have his phone on him? Send him a text along the lines of "Get off the video games and come socialize with your mom. You are being rude. She is here to spend time with you"

This is what I do with my 13 year old boy when he is being a stinker and I want to yell at him or call him out in a subtle way but can't because of whatever social situation we are in.. The direct way works better on guys than subtle hints.[/quote]

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