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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]...my wife's family is Asian and the concept of sending her away for care is an anathema to them.

She is a mess. 80 years old with high blood pressure, failed kidneys (dialysis 4x a week), hyper-limited diet due to kidney failure, depression and many other issues. Her medicine regime is at least 10-14 different pills per day.  She fell recently and injured her leg to the point of not being able to use it and is now in a wheelchair, but she cannot get in or out of the chair without being lifted basically. The recovery from the leg injury is going very very slowly. She needs help to change clothes, go to the bathroom, bathe. Even when she could walk it was very slow, stuttering steps. She cannot cook.  She does not speak English as is currently living with my sister-in-law who is having difficulty dealing with her.

I've gone through a few of those lists on the Net about "when to send the elderly to a care home" and it's pretty much a slam dunk on every question, but I've got to get past this big cultural hurdle of "never in a million years". Has anyone gone through this difficult decision before, with the added problem of the issues that exists in some cultures about parental care? Any suggestions on how to deal with this?

Thanks.[/quote]

If there is enough money to pay for a nursing home, there is enough money to pay for daily homecare services.  There are plenty of them out there.  A simple google will let you know the ones in your area.  Talk to her doctors.  Call county services like Council on Aging.  There is a push to keep people in their homes and to bring services to them.  Talk to the clergy at your house of worship.   [/quote]

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