Reply to FIL can be verbally abusive and don't know what to do...

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[quote=Anonymous]As much as possible, stick to neutral locations. Get the adults, mostly FIL + MIL out of the house at least once a day. Plan family friendly activities the kids can join but if they're having an off day, leave it be and pack up the adults and GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. Crazy people are less crazy, and less abusive, when not at home. Spend most of the day out & about. When you get home from the outing, people should be tired and want to retreat to their respective bedrooms for a bit of rest.

Be warm and kind towards your ILs but be watchful like a hawk and at the first sign of trouble, get the little kids away from FIL - out of sight and out of earshot. Don't let them witness his abusing MIL or anyone else.

If he has a major meltdown - which is sounds like he might, but he might not - focus on the escape, getting the kids out. Once he's done and calmed down, let him know that it's time to go and that you hope things go better next time. Just pack up his things, book a hotel room, and call a cab - don't engage in the subject matter that was the source of his outburst. MIL is free to join or not join him in his departure - you can't control her, as much as it pains everyone to see her follow him.

That's what you do. You foster the relationship when there is good. When there is bad, you protect your kids and don't fan the flames. [/quote]

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