Reply to Pep Talk Needed for Week-Long Beach Trip with Sister

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[quote=Anonymous]Just treat her as a friend of a friend or some other type of polite-but-friendly connection, rather than expecting her to be a SISTER. If you expect to relate to her as an "ideal sister," you're going to fail. But surely you can pull off a week-long trip in a shared space by being polite, cordial and as go-with-the-flow as possible at all times by pretending she is just a friend of a friend.

Focus on making things fun for the kids. Volunteer to watch her kids for a bit while she and her husband go for a walk on the beach; she may surprise you by reciprocating. Bring some fun kid activities and make the trip memorable for them.

If she and her family leave messes, make the choice to either clean up after them so that you have a clean, comfortable space to relax in, or make the choice to leave her messes for her to clean up. Recognize and accept that she/they may tolerate more mess and chaos than you, and either clean it or leave it. Only bring that up at the very end of the trip, when everyone must pitch in to clean a vacation rental.

If she asks you personal questions, give her the benefit of the doubt and answer as honestly/thoroughly as possible (while still maintaining whatever boundaries you are comfortable with). If she questions/seems to criticize, just politely say, "Well, that's something to think about," and change the subject. If she tries to start drama, do your best to politely extract yourself from the conversation, and go do something else.

I won't give you any zingers, because I have a feeling that you have a good heart and truly want to have a nice holiday with your family--especially for the sake of your kids and her kids. You don't need a zinger, just a polite/bland smile and a vague statement like, "Well, that's interesting! I need to go put the lasagna in the oven."

If you don't rise to any bait, she'll quickly give up trying to get under your skin, if that really is her intention. But at the end of the day, you are family, it's the holidays, just do your best...and bring lots of wine. Good luck![/quote]

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