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[quote=Anonymous]OP-- you apparently grew up with good grandparents. If your mother is as you say she is (and posters really need to defer to you on that; you know her and they don't) then you can't "give" your kids the thing you had. You can only give them the gift of protecting them from the toxicity. I say this as someone whose mother does have NPD, which our family counselor diagnosed: you are not doing your kids a favor by exposing them to her. Get your house in order. Get therapy so you have the strength to set boundaries and the clarity to know whether you really need her in your kids' lives or are simply continuing the lifelong struggle to accommodate and appease a narcissistic parent. Then decide how much you want to deal with her, if at all. But just know -- your kids won't have the grandparents you had. Instead they will have the infinitely more precious gift of a mother who isn't a narcissist. [/quote]
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