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[quote=Anonymous]I know I'm probably missing a huge piece of the dynamic , and that this is a vent, but maybe it would help things  if you let go just a little bit.

Maybe your mother would rather come Thursday, but doesn't want to offend you by suggesting so. Maybe she'd like to come Wednesday, but senses your stress and is worried coming Wed. will make things worse for you, and she keeps asking to  give you the opportunity to say so.
Maybe she's getting older and struggling with her memory, be patient.

As for your brother, sorry , but you are really out of line. There may be other issues going on there they haven't shared with the family yet.   All you need say is, " Sorry you all can't make it. We'll miss you, and we'll catch up with you at X time."

For the gifts let people buy and spend what they want.

If your sister wants Christmas eve dinner let her do it then swap every year or let her have it every year, it's one less thing for you to do right.

For your holiday party, there are checklists you can lookup to help you organize it or drop the cash and have someone else do it for you.

But really for your own health Let. It. Go.
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