Reply to Happy to watch your kids...but you have to actually ASK.

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[quote=Anonymous]My sister and one of my older cousins have 3 and 2 kids, respectively. For some reason, they and their spouses don't feel the need to actually watch their kids at family gatehrings. What really complicates this dynamic is the fact that we gather at the family lake cottage. So, even in the winter, a body of water is a factor and is a very real danger. My brother and two other cousins and I all have two kids each. We all watch our kids, often taking turns with our spouses.

It's not that I'm not willing to help watch my sister's kids or my cousin's kids. Happy to do so, especially as the little kids are playing in various permutations. The problem is that my sister and my cousin just drift away...one minute they are in the room, then they are napping or taking a walk around the lake with their husbands, or they've even gone to town for groceries without informing ANYONE.

This is my philosophy: it's definitely fine to ask someone else to watch your kids, but you have to actually ask! Not doing so--and not recognizing that it is, in fact, a favor that warrants a "please" and "thank you"--is obnoxious. It's like you would never say, "Someone call 911." You say, "YOU, call 911." Someone has to know they are the adult on duty!

I'm tempted to just let their kids go unsupervised and wait until it catches up with my sister and/or my cousin--if one of their kids eats a bag of sugar or breaks a lamp, oh well. But there is no way I can do this with that lake around. There's also an upstairs balcony that my sister's toddler has gotten onto before--it has a railing, but essentially is open to the deck below.

And yes, I've addressed this with them directly, and nothing changes. I'm really dreading this dynamic this holiday season. Any suggestions? The other cousins, my brothers, my parents, and my cousin's parents agree that this is a problem.[/quote]

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