Reply to What are my odds for being awarded full custody?

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[quote=Anonymous]Ugh.... you really need a lawyer who has experience with international child custody!  You need to strategize about how you want this situation to turn out in terms of custody and location to live.

PP above is right about being careful about moving unilaterally.  You might have been able to do this when you were pregnant, but with a 2 year old, it's not advisable.  Again, consult attorney.

How long can you keep it together to set up the situation you want after the split?

I was appalled by my husband's cheating and had very clear evidence, although that doesn't matter in court.  What is ironic is that although finding out about the cheating made it clear that he told me many lies over a long period of time, I still felt obliged to be upfront with him.  I felt obliged to be honest and tell him I found out and ask him what was going on and work with him honestly to resolve our situation.

That was a huge mistake.  It would have been better for me (and the kids) if I had kept quite, watched his behavior and activities and also focused on pretending we still had a good marriage while setting myself up for a more stable life.  In my situation, I lost out on a very good job in NY.  It would have been better if I had pretended the marriage was OK and gotten either my husband's agreement to move there with our daughter or move all of us together as a family.  (The job was very high paying, and if my husband had believed that we were all still a family, he likely would have agreed to either scenario.)  Then if I had held out another 6 months to establish residency, I could have filed in NY for custody and likely would have been able to remain there.  Now I am stuck in DC with more limited job prospects.  Huge mistake on my part.  I owed nothing to someone who lied as deeply as he did.  Devastating impact on my kid's life opportunities. [/quote]

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