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[quote=Anonymous]I envy those of you can physically separate by moving away.  A good chunk of my family is local.   For me, it has required a lot of therapy to heal decades of wounds.  I feel like I'm learning for the first time how to have a healthy and loving relationship with others - something I never witnessed growing up.  It used to be that my parents were the severely dysfunctional ones - but my adult siblings have raised the bar and taken the prize.  Be aware of the patterns you might fall into because you don't know any different, actively create new patterns for your marriage and children.  I manage some interaction with certain family members but I have to actively keep distance from those who are drug abusers and noncompliant with their treatment - funny how they always remember my number when they need something.  With my parents, I take them separately in small controlled dosages and it is always on my terms with a lot supervision because they are actually very loving grandparents.  But I understand that my priority is protecting my husband and children who do not need to be pulled into the drama and pain.  In addition to therapy, create a healthy and supportive group of friends who might not know what its like, but are there for you nonetheless.   I grew up keeping many secrets and finally sharing some of my story with others has been a huge source of healing.[/quote]

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