Reply to Effective strategies for getting DH to pull his weight

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sigh.  I have a very similar situation. My approach is to outsource as much as possible and have him do the things he can actually handle that are not time sensitive. Eg he does a ton of childcare on the weekends. He can do some childcare in the evenings but only when I make him do pickup otherwise he just wouldn't come home before bedtime. Basically you have to pick the things you know he will actually do and not screw up. Sorry, I know what it is like![/quote]

I am sure this varies person to person, but can you give me some examples of what he does? When he stays with the children and I say, go on a run, the entire house gets trashed top to bottom, things get ruined (marker all over a shirt of mine or couch or something) and there is literally no contribution to the household, like a meal cooked for later or an errand run, a house project finished, just a major deficit. We were outsourcing a ton for the past year, but the truth is we really cannot afford that. We had a short term cushion where we could throw money at the problem, and we did. It was fairly effective, but it was nothing other than a bandaid, and now that is gone. Back to square one, and I am hating life. [/quote]

If your children are so ill-behaved that the entire house is trashed when you're out running (what is that, like 45 minutes?) then it sounds like there is a big discipline issue that is to be blamed on both of you. I mean why are your shirts somewhere where your kid can color on them?[/quote]

He surfs when he is with them, completely ignores them while he dives into something he wants to do, they get bored, feel neglected and act out, actually pretty similar to me!

This doesn't happen when I am with the children, they are well-behaved and nothing gets ruined, they help me prepare a meal or work on a house project happily. [/quote]

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