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[quote=Anonymous]Yes, another thread here by a woman who feels like domestic help.

My husband was raised in a 1950's household, where the mom literally does everything, (but has pretty low standards) and so my husband kind of comes home as though that alone is his contribution.  He consistently overschedules himself and is also spacey - high ADD. Forgets about basic things like what time we have to leave the house in the morning, what time the children need to go to bed, etc. Between those two traits / tendencies, there are perpetual reasons why he's never around / available / participating, or when he is participating, he is in a fog, and not actually helping. For example, he made a huge deal about "helping" this morning by feeding the children an eggs and toast breakfast when we didnt have time, instead of helping put shoes on and get out the door, eat granola bars in the car. I was harriedly trying to get ready for the day myself, for 15 minutes, while cleaning our upstairs, while this happened. We were 20 minutes late, when I came downstairs, there were still 20 things to do before getting out of the door.

I do 90% of everything, he might putter here and there, but the majority of what he does beyond that is because I am demanding it of him. I'm tired of being a nag and a bi*&@#. We are not a team, and we don't seem to be on the same page at all. Its been seven years, and I can't deal anymore.

I have higher standards and as such, have been pretty screwed by both of our expectations. Dropping those standards just makes me feel really depressed. I also have a higher sex drive, more motivation overall, more social, more engaged with life, etc.

Are there any resources out there for creating a more harmonious household in this type of scenario?

Thinking of initiating a separation because life is just too damn short. [/quote]

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