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[quote=Anonymous]I'll go ahead and throw my dilemma on the DCUM pile and try to crowdsource an answer.  We've split Christmas between our two families for the past 8 years.  His parents (whom I love) live about 6.5 hours away; my parents are local.  I would like to spend this Christmas at our own house even though it is a travel year because it is our first Christmas in our new house, and I will be 7.5 months pregnant with our third baby (other kids are 4.5 and 2.5).  DH agrees with me on this.  He told his parents about it-we invited them up to stay for the whole holiday (Xmas eve, day, etc).  DH's brother is also local in Arlington.  His parents and brother declined to do this; they will have their regular Christmas at home, then come up on the 26th, like they do when it's my parents' turn to host.  HOWEVER, their stipulation is that next year we travel to them.  I cannot agree to that-that is my family's year, and I'd be missing the holiday with my parents, my sister and her family, and my brother.  I also would like to spend another Christmas in our own house-although DH grew up traveling every single Christmas, all of my Christmases were in my own house, and we'd like our kids to experience both.

DH says he sees his parents' point-they don't want to wait until Christmas of 2017 to have us all back to their house.  However, as I said, going down there for Christmas 2016 will totally put us out of sync with the rest of my family, which I don't think is fair to me or my kids.  My solution is that for the next 2 Christmases (2015/2016), we stay put in our own house.  This Christmas we give his parents rights of first refusal.  Next year, my parents get it (although they are local, we always go to their house to stay over on Xmas eve).  My sister, parents, and brother can all choose whether they'd like to come to our place for 2016 Xmas eve/morning and dinner, or stay at my parents' house instead.  Then 2017, a travel year, we would go back down to my in-laws.

Because this is an emotionally-fraught topic, my DH and I are butting heads.  I love his parents almost as much as mine, and would really like to find a workable solution.  Do you think mine is fair?  If not, what seems fair to you?  Thanks if you are still reading and sorry it's so long![/quote]

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