Reply to Thanksgiving w/ IN LAWS vs. Mom with cancer

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it matters HOW sick she is. My FIL has some form on lymphoma that does not result in imminent death. He is not in chemo or anything and is living a normal life. He has been told he probably has 10 years. So no, his cancer is not a trump card for him to demand our presence whenever he wants.[/quote]

+1. Obviously if she's been given a life expectancy of less than a year, go spend the holiday with your mom. If we're talking about stage one breast cancer, which has a nearly 100% five-year survival rate, and the "who knows if this will be her last Thanksgiving" is equally applicable to anyone in either family who could be hit by a car the day after Thanksgiving, I lean toward keeping the original plan. Then there's a whole range in the middle where it's more of a judgment call. Obviously something like cancer will make you want more togetherness with your mom, but if it's the kind of thing where year after year you end up saying "this could be her last Thanksgiving" in order to spend it with her instead of her in-laws, not only is that unfair to your husband and his family, but it also will make people take you less seriously if things get worse down the road and you really are facing a "this could be her last Thanksgiving" situation.[/quote]

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